Monday, June 18, 2007

The Dog Days of Summer

Just when you think you have them figured out, your kids throw you a curve ball. Michael and Emily? Not so content to stay in the family room and play.....would much rather roam the house and take apart/destroy/climb on anything they can find. And Sophie? Has realized that Mom's job when her siblings are asleep is not to play endless games and entertain her, but to do laundry, clean the kitchen, make the grocery list, pay the bills, get dinner started,and maybe have a few quiet moments to herself....uninterrupted. How BORING Sophie told me yesterday. Now, mind you, it's not like I banish her to her room, she is free to help me with whatever I am doing, paint, do play dough, glue, cut, etc when the kiddos are napping. I will sit with her and get her started, and then I am in the vicinity to observe, help and answer questions. But alas, sometimes this wears thin, and she can't help but let the big SIGH escape. Good thing Aunt Katharine and James arrive on Wednesday, we could all use the company.

Michael and Emily have both also entered the full-on tantrum stage as well. In case you haven't seen one lately, they look sort of like this:

That was Emily's reaction when I refused to let her have the camera. You really need to hear it though, I think, to get the full effect. But she is usually a happy little thing, and most of the time looks more like this:
And then there is Michael. He is the epitome of extremes. When he is happy, he is VERY happy:
And when he's not...well, that's just a whole other story. Once he gets going, he can REALLY get going. I never knew there was a pitch that high until I heard his shriek. Even Sophie has started saying to me, "Uh-oh Mom, you better go and pick him up/give him juice/change his diaper/ before he starts that shrieking" Terry and I call him the escalator, because his tantrums escalate in a heartbeat, and he is really not the best self soother. Yesterday at the pool he climbed into Sophie's tube and was laying there, just like a little sunbather. I turned my back to get the camera, but the moment passed. He had decided to climb out, and here was the unhappy result:


I know the tantrums are brought on by frustration. What they want to do and what they are physically capable of doing are so vastly different right now. And what they want to communicate and what they are capable of communicating also differs greatly. I know in a few months this stage will pass, as their expressive language catches up with their receptive.

But right now it is hard. It's hard to go anywhere; it's hard to be at home. And I feel guilty for all the things I don't do with them just because there are two of them. Take a walk down the street? In the stroller unless Terry and I are both available. Play outside? Same thing. Go to Mass? You'd better get everything ready the night before if you want to make it on time. And only yesterday did we attempt the pool with all three, but that is for another post. I know I shouldn't compare, but Sophie was one lucky toddler, her world was huge compared to Michael and Emily's.

Today they came with me to the dermatologist. (lucky Sophie is at Noah's for the day, his house is much less BORING than ours) 20 minutes in the car to get there, 45 minutes in the stroller to wait and then be seen. I stopped in the lobby to feed them before heading home, and a lady approached me to talk twins. She has a 6 yr old daughter, and B/G twins that are 9 yr old. She told me this stage, from 18 ms to about 2 1/2 is the worst, except for the sleep deprivation of the newborn stage. She said she felt so trapped, that she couldn't go anywhere, but that it does get a lot easier, and then you reap the benefits of having 2 together. Things like a constant playmate, and someone to start school with were her big two. It was nice talking with her, because I have been feeling guilty lately for thinking how much easier it would be if I only had one toddler. She related to that, saying how of course you love them both, but it is never ending. And that is how I feel, I love them both, wouldn't trade either for the world, but I am never on top of things anymore. Don't get me wrong, I know how incredibly lucky we were to even have these children, and I don't regret that for a moment. Guess I just need to "embrace the chaos" as Kathleen likes to say, cause I feel it is here to stay!

8 comments:

Unknown said...

Sophie is one lucky little girl because she has siblings. Michael and Emily's world may be "smaller" but it is so much richer. For whatever the twins and Sophie miss out on in these early years, they will be reaping the long-term benefits (God-willing!) for the rest of their lives. JPII said the greatest gift you can give a child is a sibling (paraphrased). How true!

Now, Abby, her Daddy and I will have to take comfort in the fact that Jesus was an only child, too. And he turned out okay! ;-)

Debbie

Anonymous said...

Dor,
I think you just have to embrace and remember all those good little moments that happen when you're not looking or expecting them. And I thought Jesus had some siblings- wasn't Mary just a teenager when she had Jesus?

Unknown said...
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Unknown said...
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Unknown said...

Dear anonymous, Dorothy and I are both Catholic. Catholic theology holds that Mary was “ever-virgin”, so could not have had any more children. References to “brothers” are made partly because the language Jesus spoke did not have a word for cousin. That is a VERY quickie explanation. Here is a much better one! You’ll have to cut and past the link together – sorry!
http://forums.catholic.com/showthread.php?t=
7577&highlight=jesus+brothershlight=jesus+brothers
Blessings,
Debbie

Dorothy Gould said...

Hey guys, My blog is a fun place, please no religious or political wrangling.....yes, I am Catholic, but I cannot honestly say that I have never strayed from the official teachings of the Church....to each his own. dag

Dorothy Gould said...

It's me again. I didn't want that last comment I posted taken the wrong way, I do respect everyone's opinions and just wanted you to know mine. My sister Mary is the "anonymous" poster, she is having trouble with her google acct and couldn't post under her name. Glad to have some healthy commenting! thanks, dag

Unknown said...

Sorry, Dor and Mary – Wasn’t trying to wrangle, just explain. Please forgive me if it appeared otherwise!
Debbie